16 Mums Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jul 14 2025

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Why did the mother rope punish her child? It was a little knotty!
Why did the mother ghost scold her child? Because it was a little sheet!
Why did the mother hen only have three chicks? Because she had a 'fowl' temper and sent the others to 'egg'ucation!
Why did the mother cow get an award? Because she was outstanding in her field!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing... and also because it was embarrassed that it couldn't ketchup to the other vegetables!
Why did the mom carry a doorbell? In case her kids needed to be 'ding-donged' about something!

Mum's Fashion Police: Guilty as Charged!

My mom is the undisputed fashion police in our house. She walks in, takes one look at me, and suddenly I'm on trial for crimes against style. What are you wearing? Is that considered fashionable now? Back in my day... I'm just waiting for her to whip out a ticket book and start writing citations for fashion violations.

Mum's Cooking: A Culinary Adventure!

I love my mom, but let's talk about her cooking for a moment. She's got this signature dish that's like a mystery box from a cooking show. You open it up, and it's like, Congratulations, you've just won a chance to figure out what's for dinner! It's a culinary adventure every time. I once found a map and compass in my spaghetti – I think she's trying to tell me something.

Mum's the Word!

You ever notice how moms have this supernatural ability to keep secrets? You could tell your mom the Pentagon's nuclear launch codes, and she'd still keep it under wraps. It's like they went to a secret-keeping academy we don't know about. I'm convinced there's a secret society of moms with a motto that goes, Loose lips sink ships, and moms keep secrets like it's a full-time job!

Mom's Taxi Service: 5 Stars for Honesty!

Moms are like the best taxi service, but they're brutally honest about it. You call an Uber, and they're all, Hi, how's your day? Your mom's version? Get in, I'm not a chauffeur, and this isn't a limo service. You owe me gas money. Five stars for honesty, Mom. And don't even think about leaving crumbs in her car; she'll make you clean it with a toothbrush.

Mum's Texting: A Whole New Language!

Texting with moms is like deciphering an ancient code. They've got their own texting language – BRB becomes Be Right Back, dear, and LOL stands for Lots of Love. You send a simple message, and suddenly you're in a linguistic maze trying to figure out what TTYL means this time. Spoiler alert: It's not Talk To You Later.

Mom's Phone Calls: The Marathon Edition

Talking to my mom on the phone is like running a marathon. You start with a casual hello, and an hour later, you've covered every topic from the weather to what the neighbor's cat had for breakfast. It's a journey, and by the end, you're mentally exhausted. I've started scheduling these calls like work meetings – with a set start and end time.

Mum's Tech Support: The Ultimate Challenge

If you want a real challenge in life, try explaining technology to your mom. It's like teaching quantum physics to a goldfish. No, Mom, you can't download more RAM, and no, your computer won't get faster if you talk to it nicely. It's a technological adventure, and I'm convinced she thinks Ctrl+Alt+Del is a secret handshake.

Mum's Facebook Mastery: A Lesson in Tagging

My mom is a Facebook tagging ninja. She tags me in photos from my awkward teenage years, and I'm like, Thanks for the nostalgia, Mom. I was hoping the world forgot about my braces phase. But she's just proud – she thinks she's giving me street cred. Next, she'll probably create an album titled Embarrassing Moments: My Legacy.

Mum's Superpower: Finding Things You've Lost Forever!

Moms have this superpower of finding things you've lost forever. You can tear the house apart looking for your keys, give up, and boom, Mom walks in, Have you checked the first drawer in the kitchen, behind the old newspapers, under the expired coupons? It's like she has a GPS for lost items.

Mom's Grocery Shopping: Mission Impossible!

Grocery shopping with my mom is a mission impossible. She hands me a list with items that might as well be written in hieroglyphics. Can you find the organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, lactose-free, cruelty-free, low-sodium, high-fiber, artisanal kale? Lady, I can't even find the regular kale.

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