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Mummies must have had killer dance moves back in the day. I mean, try busting a move when you're wrapped head to toe. They were probably the original breakdancers – literally breaking free from those bandages.
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Mummies are the ultimate introverts. They've been social distancing for centuries, way before it was cool. I bet if they were alive today, they'd be the ones saying, "I've been self-isolating since 2000 BC. Get on my level, folks!
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Mummies are like the silent guardians of ancient secrets. I can't even keep a secret for a week without accidentally spilling the beans. I need to hire a mummy as my personal confidentiality consultant.
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I heard mummies were the first to use the phrase "wrapped up in their work." If only my boss would appreciate my commitment to the job as much as those mummies appreciated their wrapping skills.
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Mummies are like the kings of recycling. They've been reusing those bandages for centuries. I try to recycle, but my efforts are more like a failed arts and crafts project. I swear, my recycling bin looks like it's auditioning for a horror movie.
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I bet mummies were the first ones to invent the snooze button. "Just give me five more centuries of sleep, and then I'll conquer the world. Promise.
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I recently read about a new mummy discovery, and they found a note with it that said, "Do not disturb – still catching up on my beauty sleep." I can relate. I have a sign like that on my bedroom door, but it's more of a suggestion than a rule.
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Mummies have the best pick-up line in history: "Are you a tomb? Because I'd die to be with you." I've tried using it, but for some reason, it doesn't work as well at the local coffee shop.
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Have you ever noticed that mummies are like the original overachievers? I mean, they managed to stay wrapped up for thousands of years without breaking a sweat. Meanwhile, I can't even keep my sandwich fresh for a day without it turning into a soggy mess.
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