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We all know that singing "Happy Birthday" is a crucial part of any birthday celebration. But in our family, it's like a Broadway production. Mom insists on the full theatrical performance. Now, you might think, "What's the big deal? It's just a song." Oh no, my friends. Mom expects us to sing it with such passion and emotion that it brings tears to her eyes. So, there we are, belting out "Happy Birthday," trying to hit those high notes, and my dad, who has the vocal range of a foghorn, is leading the charge. And if anyone misses a beat or forgets a lyric, Mom gives them this disappointed look, like they just ruined her entire year. It's like a birthday song or a Broadway audition - there's no in-between.
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Let's talk about birthday cakes. My mom is convinced that there's a secret conspiracy against her when it comes to birthday cakes. Every year, she drops these subtle hints about her dream cake. So, this year, we went all out. We got her the cake she's been talking about for months. The candles were lit, everyone was gathered around, and we were ready to sing "Happy Birthday." But as the cake came closer, I noticed a slight disappointment in her eyes. I asked, "Mom, what's wrong?" She replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just that I mentioned chocolate cake, and this one is only 98% chocolate. I feel betrayed by that 2% non-chocolate existence!
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You know, my mom's birthday is always this big deal in our family. She treats it like a national holiday. I mean, she expects a parade of gifts and a red carpet leading to the kitchen where she expects breakfast in bed. But it's not even her that does the cooking; it's usually Dad with a confused look on his face, trying to figure out which end of the spatula is up. And then comes the gift-giving part. You know you're in trouble when your mom opens a present and gives you that look - the one that says, "This is nice, dear, but did you even try?" Last year, I got her a vacuum cleaner. Big mistake. She's like, "Oh, how thoughtful! Now, why don't you try it out by cleaning the entire house?
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Buying a birthday card for my mom is like entering a labyrinth. There are cards for every possible relationship, occasion, and mood. I spent an hour in the store, carefully reading each card, trying to find the perfect one. Finally, I picked the one that said, "To the World's Greatest Mom." I thought I had nailed it. Well, she opens the card, reads it, looks at me, and goes, "So, not only am I the greatest mom in this world, but also in any parallel universe?" I'm like, "Mom, I just thought it was a cool card!" Lesson learned: never underestimate the power of a well-chosen card.
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