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You ever wonder if Miss Piggy has a favorite bacon recipe? I mean, that's like a human having a favorite cannibalism recipe. It's a bit awkward, right? "This one time, at the Muppet BBQ...
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I was watching The Muppets the other day, and Miss Piggy was singing about being a diva. I thought, "Girl, you're a pig. The only diva move you can pull off is hogging the TV remote." But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe she's onto something.
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Miss Piggy must have a secret makeup artist backstage because, honestly, I can't even draw a straight line with a ruler, and here she is, rocking that perfect snout contour. I can't even contour my cheekbones without looking like I got into a fight with a crayon.
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Have you ever thought about Miss Piggy's wardrobe? I mean, she's a pig, and she's got more outfits than I do! I'm over here wearing the same T-shirt I had in high school, and she's doing a fashion show with her porcine wardrobe. Who knew pigs had such a sense of style?
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Miss Piggy's karate moves are legendary. I bet if she taught a self-defense class, attendance would be through the roof. "Lesson 1: How to karate-chop your way through a breakup. Lesson 2: Defending your snacks from sneaky friends.
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Have you noticed that Miss Piggy never eats on screen? I mean, she's a pig! Where's the realism? I want to see her munching on a big bowl of slop or at least struggling with a salad fork. Let's keep it authentic, Muppets!
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You ever notice how Miss Piggy from The Muppets is the only pig in the world who wears more makeup than my Aunt Mildred? I mean, she's a puppet, but I swear, if she ever went swimming, there'd be a trail of lipstick in the water!
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I envy Miss Piggy's confidence. She struts around like she's the queen of everything. Meanwhile, I can't even make eye contact with the cashier at the grocery store without blushing. Miss Piggy's got the self-esteem of a pig in a mud bath.
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You know, Miss Piggy's relationships with Kermit are like a soap opera. I mean, one day they're in love, the next day they're breaking up, and the day after that, she's karate-chopping someone. It's like watching a rom-com directed by George Orwell – "Animal Farm: The Love Edition.
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