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You ever notice how therapists have this incredible poker face? I'm pouring my heart out, telling them my deepest, darkest secrets, and they're just sitting there like they're waiting for a bus. No reaction whatsoever. I could be confessing to stealing candy from babies, and they'd probably respond with, "And how did that make you feel?" I sometimes wonder if therapists go home and have a good laugh about the crazy stuff their clients say. Like, they gather around with their therapist friends and go, "You won't believe what this one said today!" And they all have a good chuckle, but on the outside, they're just calm and composed, like emotional ninjas.
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Have you ever tried playing mind games with your therapist? I tried to mess with mine once. She asked, "What's on your mind today?" I said, "Oh, you know, the usual—world domination, winning the lottery, and wondering if my cat secretly hates me." She just nodded and said, "Interesting." Well, that didn't go as planned. I was hoping for, "Oh, you're the most normal person I've ever met!" But nope, just 'interesting.' I'm convinced therapists have a secret manual on how to respond to crazy. They probably go to therapy school and learn phrases like, "That's an interesting perspective," or "Tell me more about that." It's like they're professionally trained to keep a straight face, no matter how wild your thoughts are.
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You ever experience those awkward silences in therapy? You know, when neither of you is saying anything, and you're just staring at each other? It's like a staring contest, but instead of blinking, you're supposed to have a breakthrough. "Come on, say something profound, and let's end this silence!" I tried to break the awkwardness once by telling my therapist a joke. I said, "Why did the therapist bring a ladder to the session? Because they heard it was the path to self-discovery!" She didn't laugh. Tough crowd. But hey, at least I'm trying to bring some humor into the mental health game. Laughter is the best medicine, right after therapy, of course.
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You know, I've been seeing a lot of mental health professionals lately. It's like having a personal detective for your brain. I walked into my therapist's office, and before I even said a word, she goes, "So, tell me about your childhood." I'm thinking, "How did you know that's where the trauma is hidden? Are you psychic or just really good at guessing?" I mean, they ask questions like they already know the answers. "How do you feel about that?" How do I feel? I feel like you should tell me, you're the expert! But it's great; it's like therapy is the one place where it's socially acceptable to pay someone to listen to you talk about yourself for an hour.
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