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Joke Types
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Why did the medieval smartphone break up with the knight's phone? It couldn't handle the medieval ringtone!
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Why did the knight start a gardening business? Because he had a lot of lance to cover!
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Why did the knight bring a ladder to the castle? Because he wanted to go to the next level!
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Why did the dragon bring a towel to the medieval battle? To have a good knight's sleep!
Medieval Pickup Lines
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Imagine trying to flirt in medieval times. Are you a wizard? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears... or maybe it's just the lack of proper hygiene.
Ye Olde Social Media
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In medieval times, instead of scrolling through Facebook, they'd just shout their updates from the castle walls. Just conquered a dragon, feeling accomplished! #Dragonslayer. I can imagine the trolls back then were actual trolls hiding under bridges, commenting, Nice dragon, but your armor is so last century, Sir Lame-a-Lot!
Ye Olde GPS
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Getting directions in medieval times must have been a challenge. Go forth two leagues, turn left at the giant oak tree, and if you reach the dragon's lair, you've gone too far. Oh, and watch out for the trolls giving wrong directions under the bridges.
Jester Troubles
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Being a court jester in medieval times was a risky business. One day you're making the king laugh, the next day you're in the stocks because the queen didn't appreciate your impression of the royal highness. Tough crowd!
Medieval Dating Woes
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Dating must have been complicated back then. I took Lady Isabella to a romantic candlelit dinner in the castle, but all she could talk about was the lack of indoor plumbing. I guess chivalry doesn't cover plumbing.
Medieval Gym Problems
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You think your gym is intimidating? Imagine a medieval gym with knights bench-pressing battle axes and jousting for the elliptical machine. Excuse me, Sir Buff-a-Lot, I had this horse reserved!
Medieval Mix-ups
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You ever notice how in medieval times, everyone had these epic battles with swords and armor? I mean, they must have had the world's worst game of musical chairs. Hey, Sir William, you took my seat at the Round Table! Well, Sir Richard, maybe if you didn't leave your sword lying around, I wouldn't have to defend my right to a comfy chair!
Dragon Complaints
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I bet dragons in medieval times had their own support group. St. George is so insensitive. He just comes charging in, trying to slay me without asking how my day was. I have feelings too, you know!
Ye Olde Marriage Counseling
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In medieval times, they had a unique approach to marriage counseling. The counselor would say, Thou art bickering again? Well, how about this – next time thou hast an argument, settle it with a jousting match. May the best knight win... and keep the remote control.
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