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They hand you tissues in the counseling room, but they should also provide a mop for all the spilled emotional baggage. It's like a therapy session and a spill cleanup service all in one.
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The counselor said we should try "active listening." So now, instead of interrupting each other, we just nod vigorously while maintaining eye contact. It's like a bizarre game of emotional charades.
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I asked the counselor if they have a "Couples' Discount." You know, buy one therapy session, get the second one at half the emotional cost. It's all about saving for the divorce lawyer.
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The counselor asked us to express our feelings. So, I said, "I feel like I'm in a never-ending episode of a sitcom with too many plot twists. Can we get a writer's room in here?
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They always ask, "So, how did you two meet?" And I'm like, "Well, it all started with a swipe right, a touch of desperation, and a sprinkle of self-delusion." Ah, modern romance.
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After every session, we leave with homework. Homework! I thought I was done with that when I left school. Now I have relationship assignments. "Your task this week: communicate without rolling your eyes." Challenge accepted.
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You know your marriage is in trouble when the counselor greets you with, "Ah, the dynamic duo is back." I thought we were Batman and Robin, but it turns out we were more like Batman and Alfred, and I was definitely not the Dark Knight.
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The marriage counselor's office is like a confessional booth, but instead of confessing sins, you're confessing who left the toilet seat up last. It's like, "Forgive me, therapist, for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last chore.
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It's like being in a courtroom where your love is on trial, and the counselor is the judge. You're just hoping you don't hear the words, "I find the defendant guilty of forgetting anniversaries.
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