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The Animal Whisperer Marriage Counselor
Applying animal behavior theories to human relationships
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She suggested we mimic the communication styles of dolphins. So now, instead of arguing, we just make clicking noises at each other. It's like living with a pod of highly dysfunctional dolphins.
The Overenthusiastic Marriage Counselor
Trying to fix everything with too much enthusiasm
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She told me to spice things up in the bedroom. I tried bringing in a little cayenne pepper, and now my wife thinks I'm cooking up a secret recipe for disaster.
The Nonchalant Marriage Counselor
Treating marital issues with indifference
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I told her my wife complains I never listen. She replied, "I'm sorry, were you saying something?" I'm thinking of charging her by the word.
The Time-Traveling Marriage Counselor
Bringing ancient wisdom to modern relationship issues
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She recommended we follow the teachings of Confucius. Now, instead of saying "I love you," we exchange profound philosophical quotes. I'm just hoping Confucius had some advice for remembering anniversaries.
The Tech-Savvy Marriage Counselor
Solving relationship problems with technology
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She suggested we try virtual reality to "spice things up." I donned the headset, and suddenly I was in a romantic Parisian cafe. My wife walked in as a pixelated Eiffel Tower. Let's just say, love in 8-bit is not as romantic.
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