19 Marines Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Feb 09 2025

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What's a marine's favorite type of music? Amphibian!
Why did the marine start a bakery? He wanted to make some 'dough'!
What did the marine say to the disobedient ocean? You're a little too 'sea'-rious!
Why did the marine become a gardener? Because he wanted to excel at planting and sea-ding!
Why did the marine become a gardener? Because he wanted to plant himself in a new environment!
How do marines like their eggs? Boot-camp-fried!
What did the marine say when he finished his puzzle? Semper Fi-nished!
What's a marine's favorite seafood? Semper Fry!
How do marines stay cool in the summer? They have the ultimate sea-BRIG-ade!

Marine GPS

I was talking to a Marine the other day, and he was bragging about their incredible sense of direction. He said, We Marines never get lost; we just explore alternative routes. I thought, That's not getting lost; that's discovering new terrain for a potential McDonald's pit stop!

Marine Time

Marines are known for their punctuality, right? They say, If you're on time, you're late. Well, if that's the case, I'm apparently on 'Marine time' when it comes to paying my bills. Sorry, landlord, Semper Fi on that rent check!

Marine Hobbies

Marines love their physical training, right? I tried joining them once for a workout, and they were doing these crazy exercises. I asked, What's this one called? They said, It's called 'making civilians question their life choices.' Mission accomplished!

Marine Boot Camp Wisdom

I heard in Marine boot camp, they teach you to face your fears. That's great, but my fear is folding a fitted sheet. Can they teach me that? I want to see a Marine conquer a fitted sheet and then maybe I'll be impressed.

Marine Technology

Marines are tough, but have you seen them try to use a touch screen phone? It's like watching a cat play the piano. They're poking and swiping, and the phone's just sitting there, judging them. Maybe they should add 'phone combat' to their training.

Semper Funny-Fi!

You ever notice how Marines are like the superheroes of the military? They even have their own slogan, Semper Fi. I mean, I want commitment in my life, but the Marines take it to a whole new level. They're like, Semper Fi to your relationship, your sanity, and to laughing at your civilian problems!

Marine Cuisine

I asked a Marine what their favorite meal was, expecting something tough like raw rattlesnake or a grilled tank. Nope, they said, MREs. Meals Ready-to-Eat. I mean, come on, I thought that was just a myth – like Bigfoot or a politician keeping a campaign promise!

Marine Code

Have you ever tried understanding Marine lingo? It's like they have their own secret code. They say things like Oorah and Semper Fi, and I'm just over here like, Can you guys slow down? I barely even understood the coffee order at Starbucks!

Marine Superpowers

Marines are like real-life superheroes. They have this incredible ability to make any conversation about their time in the service. You could be talking about the weather, and they'd somehow work in, Well, back in the Corps... I'm just waiting for one to claim they fought off a hurricane with a bayonet.

Marine Humility

You know how Marines always say they're the best of the best? I asked one, If you're so amazing, why don't you have your own holiday? He looked at me dead serious and said, Every day is a Marine holiday. Talk about Semper Celebrate!

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