bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
You ever notice how everything nowadays needs some kind of lubricant? I mean, I remember when the word "lubricant" was reserved for car engines and, well, you know... other adult activities. But now, it's like the world has gone all "slip 'n slide" on us. I went to the store the other day to buy some WD-40, you know, the usual squeaky door situation. But I swear, I was standing there in the aisle, and there were more types of lubricants than flavors of ice cream. I didn't know whether to fix my door or plan a romantic evening!
And they've got these fancy names for them too. "Silicone-based," "water-based," "hybrid" – it's like I'm shopping for a car, not something to make my life less squeaky. I just want my door to shut up, not start a debate on the best type of lubricant for a hinge.
But I'm telling you, this whole lubricant thing is getting out of hand. Pretty soon, they'll be recommending it for job interviews. "Just a little dab of personal lubricant on your handshake, and you'll slide right into that promotion!
0
0
Have you ever wondered if there's a secret society of lubricant enthusiasts out there? Like, they're sitting in a dimly lit room, sipping on their drinks, discussing the latest advancements in the world of lubrication. I can imagine them saying, "Ah, yes, the water-based formula is perfect for beginners, but for the advanced users, only silicone will suffice." They probably have secret handshakes that involve a perfectly executed high-five without any friction.
And what about those mysterious "industrial lubricants"? What are they really using those for? I picture them gathering around, lubricating their office chairs, just sliding around the conference room like they're on a perpetual roller coaster.
I wouldn't be surprised if they're behind the whole slim phone trend too. "Make them sleek and slippery, my friends. Soon, the whole world will be in our lubricated grasp!
0
0
So, I recently discovered that they have lubricants for couples now. I didn't realize relationships needed a manual override! I mean, is this the solution to all our romantic problems? "Honey, I think we need some silicone-based intimacy tonight." And the marketing for these things is ridiculous. They make it sound like using their product will turn your relationship into a tropical vacation. "Ignite the passion with our exotic, passionfruit-scented lubricant!" I don't want my bedroom to smell like a fruit salad, thank you very much.
And then there are these warming lubricants. Like, who thought that was a good idea? "Hey babe, I thought we'd spice things up tonight with a little habanero-infused love." I don't want my romantic evening turning into a trip to the emergency room for accidental pepper spray exposure.
0
0
Have you noticed how our phones are getting slimmer and slimmer? It's like they're on a diet, and we're all trying to keep up. But there's a downside to these sleek, sexy devices – they're slippery as heck! I don't know how many times I've almost sent my phone flying across the room just trying to answer a call. It's like a game of phone hot potato. And don't even get me started on texting in bed. I feel like I need to hire a professional juggler just to navigate my messages without dropping the phone on my face.
I think phone companies are secretly in cahoots with the case manufacturers. They make these beautiful, delicate devices and then sell us these cases that turn them into tanks. It's like putting your phone in a suit of armor just to protect it from your own clumsy hands.
I'm waiting for the day when they start selling phones with built-in grip training exercises. You know, like those stress balls, but for your phone. "Get the new iPhone – now with bicep-building grip technology!
Post a Comment