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The IT Guy
Lubricating the tech world
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My computer crashed, and the IT guy told me it needed lubrication. I handed him a bottle of oil, and he gave me a blank stare. Apparently, he meant updating the software, not turning my laptop into a salad dressing dispenser.
The Mechanic
Dealing with different types of lubricants
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Had a lady come in with her car making strange noises. I diagnosed it in a second: lack of lubricant. Explained it to her, and she said, "Oh, honey, I haven't had any lubricant-related issues in years." Yeah, I'm talking about cars, lady.
The Relationship Expert
Incorporating lubricant into a relationship
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My girlfriend told me she wanted our relationship to be more like a well-oiled machine. So, naturally, I started speaking in robot voices and insisted on being referred to as "Lovebot 3000." Let's just say the romance algorithm needs an update.
The Chef
Finding the right lubricant in the kitchen
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My grandma once told me, "In cooking, always use a generous amount of butter." I took her advice to heart. Now I'm banned from the family Thanksgiving turkey carving—apparently, lubrication and poultry don't mix.
The Gym Trainer
Keeping the gym equipment well-lubricated
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Trying to keep the exercise bikes in top shape, I asked the janitor for lubricant. He handed me a mop and said, "Good luck, the last guy who tried to pedal his way to cleanliness is still recovering." Note to self: be more specific next time.
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