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Joke Types
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What did the lifeboat say to the iceberg? 'You make me feel a bit 'chilled' out!
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Why did the lifeboat start a band? Because it had great 'sail-smanship'!
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I told my lifeboat it was outstanding. It blushed and said, 'Well, I do try to 'stand out' in a crowd!
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Why do lifeboats never get bored? They always find a way to 'stay ship-shape'!
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What's a lifeboat's favorite type of music? Anything with a good 'sea-shanty' beat!
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Why did the lifeboat bring a pencil to the party? In case it needed to 'draw' attention to itself!
Lifeboat Fashion Show
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Surviving on a lifeboat is a fashion nightmare. Forget about designer labels; it's all about waterproof chic and algae accessories. And don't even get me started on life jacket tan lines. I call it the I survived, but my fashion sense didn't look.
Lifeboat vs. Netflix
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Life feels like being stuck on a lifeboat, and Netflix is the only entertainment. You start with the classics, but after a while, you're watching a documentary about the history of sand. You know you've hit rock bottom when you're considering subscribing to the Lifeboat and Chill streaming service. Spoiler alert: It's just a loop of seagulls fighting over fish.
Lifeboat Tinder
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Lifeboat scenarios are the ultimate test of compatibility. It's like lifeboat Tinder. You're swiping left and right, hoping you don't end up stuck with someone who thinks fishing with dental floss is a legitimate survival strategy. I mean, we're trying to survive, not catch minnows for a DIY aquarium.
Lifeboat Therapy
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Lifeboat therapy is a thing now. People are sitting in a circle, sharing their feelings, and the guy in the corner is playing a tiny violin made out of driftwood. It's like, Sorry, Carl, we're drowning, and I don't have time for your emotional baggage. I'm busy bailing water with a shoe.
Lifeboat Comedy Night
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Lifeboat comedy nights are the weirdest. It's like an open mic with a very tough crowd. I tried my best material, but the only laughs I got were from seagulls overhead. And hecklers? Yeah, they're just sharks circling beneath, waiting for a punchline that's not watered down.
Lifeboat Celebrities
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Lifeboats turn everyone into celebrities. Suddenly, we're all A-listers on this tiny floating stage, and the paparazzi are just seagulls with cameras. I can see the headlines now: Stranded at Sea: A-listers Spotted on Lifeboat, Still Looking Fabulous. Who needs a red carpet when you've got a blue ocean?
Lifeboat Karaoke
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Lifeboat karaoke is a thing. Trust me; you haven't lived until you've heard someone belt out My Heart Will Go On while clutching a makeshift oar. The sea may be cold, but these renditions are colder. I'm just waiting for someone to bust out with Survivor by Destiny's Child. Now that's irony.
Lifeboat Etiquette
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You ever notice how being on a lifeboat turns everyone into a philosopher? Suddenly, there are debates about who gets the last granola bar, and people are throwing around lifeboat ethics like they've got a Ph.D. in survival studies. It's like, Excuse me, sir, I don't care about your philosophical musings; I just want to know if you brought snacks!
The Lifeboat Chronicles
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You ever feel like life is a sinking ship, and all we've got is this little lifeboat? I mean, come on! I was expecting a cruise liner, maybe even a yacht. Instead, I'm here clinging to this lifeboat like it's the last piece of pizza at a party. And of course, there's always that one person who thinks they're the captain, yelling orders like, Paddle faster! Buddy, this is a lifeboat, not the Olympic rowing team.
Lifeboat WiFi
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You know you're in the future when even lifeboats have WiFi. It's like, Hey, we might be stranded in the middle of the ocean, but at least I can check my emails and tweet about how I'm surviving. #LifeboatLife. I just hope the signal is strong enough for a video call with my mom because I need her to talk me through tying a decent knot.
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