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They say you learn something new every day. Yesterday, I learned that the expiration date on milk is more of a suggestion than a rule. The hard way.
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I tried teaching my dog some tricks, but he just looked at me like, "You're the one who fetches my food, who's the real trickster here?" Touche, furry friend, touche.
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Learning a new language is like trying to fold a fitted sheet – it sounds like a good idea at first, but halfway through, you just want to give up and resort to speaking in gestures.
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Ever notice how we can Google anything, from quantum physics to how to tie a shoelace, but when it comes to understanding the mysterious ways of a cat, the internet is just as clueless as the rest of us?
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I thought I was good at multitasking until I tried to fold laundry, answer emails, and watch a tutorial on how to be more productive all at once. Now my clothes are wrinkled, my inbox is a mess, and I still can't find the secret to eternal productivity.
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I signed up for a cooking class thinking I'd become the next Gordon Ramsay. Turns out, my culinary skills are more on par with a contestant from a survival reality show. Anyone up for burnt water soup?
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You know you're getting old when you start to enjoy going to bed early. It used to be all-night parties, now it's all about that eight-hour sleep seminar.
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Learning to adult is like learning to ride a bike, except the bike is on fire, the ground is on fire, and everything is on fire because adulthood is basically just a series of controlled burns.
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Online tutorials have taught me a lot, like how to change a tire or bake a cake. But when it comes to fixing my Wi-Fi, suddenly I'm on my own. Apparently, my router speaks a language even YouTube can't translate.
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