17 Jokes About Lasers

Puns

Updated on: Apr 03 2025

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What's a laser's favorite game? Hide and photon seek!
How do lasers communicate? They just beam at each other!
What do you call a lazy laser? A photon slacker!
Why did the laser go to therapy? It had too many issues with its wavelength!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Now, I'm a laser scientist – I make light work!
What do you call a laser that sings? Adele-light!
How do lasers stay fit? They light up their workout routines!

When Lasers Meet To-Do Lists

You ever notice how lasers are like the overachievers of the light world? My to-do list looks at them and goes, Wow, someone's trying to outshine me! I'm just over here trying to conquer the mountain of laundry, and lasers are like, Hold my photon, I'm splitting atoms!

Lasers in a Power Outage

During a power outage, I thought, What if I use lasers as makeshift flashlights? Let me tell you, the only thing it illuminated was the fact that lasers and darkness don't mix. I ended up recreating a scene from a UFO documentary instead of finding the fuse box.

Lasers in the Office

Lasers in the office are a recipe for disaster. I accidentally brought my laser pointer to a meeting, and suddenly, it's a PowerPoint rave. My boss was not impressed. I guess he's not a fan of the laser-light conference experience.

Lasers and Cats: A Cosmic Love Story

If you really want to entertain your cat, get a laser pointer. It's like a feline disco party. My cat now believes I'm a wizard who can summon dots of pure joy. Little does she know; I'm just procrastinating doing my taxes.

The Laser Hair Removal Misadventure

I decided to try laser hair removal once. Turns out, lasers and I have a different definition of permanent. I'm just glad my hair follicles are resilient because I don't want my grandkids asking, Grandpa, why do you have such smooth legs?

Lasers vs. Mosquitoes

I tried using a laser to get rid of mosquitoes in my room. Now, not only do I have mosquito bites, but I also have a mosquito with a PhD in dodging laser beams. I swear, it's plotting revenge. If mosquitoes start carrying tiny lightsabers, I'm out.

Lasers and Romantic Ambiance

For our anniversary, my partner wanted a romantic evening, so I thought, why not add some lasers? Let me tell you, candlelight dinners are overrated. We dined under the cosmic glow of a laser light show. The dog was confused, but we felt like the coolest couple in the neighborhood.

Lasers at the Supermarket

Have you ever taken a laser pointer to the supermarket? It's like having a lightsaber in the produce section. Suddenly, everyone thinks you're the produce Jedi. I was just trying to check the ripeness of avocados, but now I've got a vegetable cult following me around.

The Laser Pointer Philosophy

I realized life is a lot like a laser pointer. We spend so much time chasing that elusive dot, thinking it'll lead us somewhere amazing, only to find out it's just a tiny, red speck on the wall. Existential crisis brought to you by a $2.99 laser pointer.

Lasers: The Only Thing I Trust Less Than GPS

I trust GPS more than I trust lasers. At least when my GPS says, Turn left, it doesn't accidentally burn a hole through the driver's seat. If my GPS ever says, In 500 feet, engage laser mode, I'm selling the car and getting a horse.

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