bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!
0
0
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
The Vicious Stapler
0
0
I got this stapler at work that's apparently on a mission to destroy paper. Every time I try to staple something, it's like, Oh, you need two pages together? How about I just shred them instead? I'm starting to think my stapler went to the Hannibal Lecter School of Stationery. It doesn't staple; it executes.
The Deadly Alarm Clock
0
0
I've got this alarm clock that's determined to murder my dreams every morning. It doesn't gently wake me up; it ambushes me with sound. It's like, Hey, remember that thing you were dreaming about? Yeah, I killed it. Time to face reality! I swear, my alarm clock is the hitman of the sleep world.
The Lethal Pen
0
0
I bought a pen the other day that claims to have ink that lasts forever. Great, now I have a pen that's outliving me. I can just imagine my will: To my descendants, I bequeath my eternal pen. May you write your grocery lists for generations to come. It's not a pen; it's an heirloom.
The Savage Remote Control
0
0
I've got a TV remote that's more like a weapon. Every time I try to change the channel, it goes rogue, flipping through every option like it's auditioning for a game show. I'm just trying to watch Netflix, and my remote is on a power trip. It's like, You don't control me; I control you!
The Murderous Toothpaste
0
0
You ever notice how they put kills 99.9% of germs on toothpaste? What happened to that 0.1%? Did the germs form a rebellion? I'm picturing a tiny microbial protest with picket signs saying, We demand equal rights in oral hygiene! It's like my toothpaste is playing judge, jury, and executioner. Your plaque has been sentenced to death by minty freshness.
The Ruthless Vacuum Cleaner
0
0
My vacuum cleaner is relentless. It doesn't just pick up dirt; it inhales everything in its path. I accidentally vacuumed up a sock once, and now I'm convinced it's part of some sock underworld. It's like my vacuum has a vendetta against loose change and small pets.
The Murderous GPS
0
0
I've got a GPS in my car that's convinced I'm part of some high-speed chase. Every time I miss a turn, it's recalculating with an attitude. In 500 feet, make a U-turn, you disappointment. I'm just trying to get to the grocery store, and my GPS is treating it like a high-stakes race.
The Merciless Can Opener
0
0
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new can opener. But let me tell you, my can opener is a menace. It's got this look in its gears like it's been sharpening its blades for years, waiting for the perfect can to attack. Opening a can of soup shouldn't feel like defusing a bomb.
The Deadly Smartphone
0
0
Have you seen the warnings on smartphones these days? Do not use while charging. It's like having a mini-bomb in your pocket. I picture my phone saying, You want to check Twitter while I'm charging? Boom, enjoy your social media explosion. My phone is on a mission to keep me on my toes, or maybe just electrocute me.
Post a Comment