4 Kids Under 10 Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 21 2024

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My house looks like a war zone, and the battleground is the living room. Why? Because of kids under 10 and their toys. It's a daily struggle, a constant conflict. I step on Legos more often than I step on actual ground. And don't get me started on the toy sharing negotiations. It's like a United Nations summit, but instead of discussing world peace, we're arguing over who gets custody of the stuffed unicorn.
Can we talk about bedtime with kids under 10? It's like negotiating a peace treaty in the Middle East. You've got the bedtime routine, the pajamas, the brushing teeth - it's a whole production. And just when you think you've won the battle and they're tucked in, they hit you with the classic line, "I need water." Water? You just had a gallon! Now I feel like a 24/7 room service. I'm thinking of installing a mini-fridge next to their beds and just be done with it.
You know, they say kids under 10 are like little bundles of joy. Well, I've got a bundle of joy at home, and let me tell you, it's more like a bundle of chaos. I took my kid to a restaurant the other day, and they handed him a menu with pictures on it. I thought, "Great, finally a menu I can understand!" But no, he looked at it and said, "I want the one with the happy cow." Now, I'm stuck trying to decode the cryptic language of a toddler menu. Do they even teach this in culinary school?
I recently discovered parenting apps, you know, those apps that claim to make parenting easier. I downloaded one, and it promised to help me keep track of my kid's schedule. Great, I thought, finally some order in this chaos. But you know what the app didn't account for? Kids under 10 have the attention span of a goldfish on caffeine. The schedule lasts about as long as a chocolate bar at a weight loss clinic. I'm starting to think the app was designed by someone who's never met a child in their life.

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