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Kids have this uncanny ability to drop profound wisdom in the most unexpected places, especially the bathroom. I walk in, and my daughter's sitting there contemplating life. I'm like, "What are you doing?" She looks at me and says, "Dad, sometimes you just need a quiet place to think, and the bathroom has great acoustics." But here's the kicker - they're not just philosophers; they're also bathroom interior decorators. I go in, and there are stickers everywhere. I mean, I appreciate the effort, but I don't need a jungle scene while I'm trying to handle my business. It's like a public restroom in the rainforest.
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You know how schools have fire drills? Well, my house has bathroom drills. The other day, my son burst into the living room, shouting, "Dad, emergency! Bathroom evacuation drill!" I'm thinking we've got a plumbing catastrophe or something. Nope. He just needed the bathroom ASAP because he wanted to beat his high score on some game. And why is it that kids think they need to take everything into the bathroom with them? My daughter walks in with a backpack like she's going on a week-long expedition. I'm just waiting for her to pull out a tent and set up camp.
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You ever notice how kids turn going to the bathroom into a competitive sport? It's like they're training for the Bathroom Olympics or something. My kid, he's in there, and I swear I hear him chanting, "Flush! Flush! Flush!" Like, buddy, calm down, it's not a gold medal event. And don't get me started on the toilet paper situation. It's like they're auditioning for Cirque du Soleil with the way they spin that roll. I'm just waiting for the day I walk in, and he's wrapped himself up like a mummy.
I asked him once, "What's the deal with the excessive toilet paper spinning?" He looks at me dead serious and says, "Dad, it's a ninja skill. You never know when you might need it.
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I've got a mystery on my hands at home: the case of the missing soap. I buy a brand new soap bar, and within a day, it's vanished into thin air. I investigate, and I find my son in the bathroom, surrounded by a mountain of bubbles. I ask, "What happened to the soap?" He grins and says, "Dad, it's a soap explosion experiment. Very scientific stuff." And don't even get me started on the liquid soap. My daughter treats it like it's a magic potion. She's in there, waving her hands and chanting, "Cleanse and purify!" I swear, I need to put that soap under lock and key.
Kids and bathrooms, it's a never-ending saga of surprises and questionable hygiene practices.
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