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Joke Types
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. Now I'm a kidnapper – I knead the dough!
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What did the kidnapper say at the costume party? 'I'm here to abduct the best costume award'!
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I tried to become a kidnapper, but I couldn't get the right 'abduction'!
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I asked the kidnapper for his favorite music genre. He said 'heavy metal'!
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What did the kidnapper say when he realized he kidnapped a math teacher? 'This is an addition to my criminal record'!
Wrong Directions
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Kidnappers must have the worst GPS ever. Turn right in 500 feet. Wait, that’s a police station, not the drop-off point!
Unlikely Takeout Service
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Kidnappers would make the worst food delivery people. Imagine ordering dinner and they show up like, Here’s your pizza, and by the way, I’ve taken your loved ones as a side order.
Office Complaints
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I bet kidnappers have the most unusual HR complaints. Boss, I asked for a corner office, not a basement with steel bars!
Unexpected Tour Guides
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Kidnappers would be the worst tour guides. Welcome to the sights of... a dark, undisclosed location. Over there, you can't see it, but it’s a breathtaking view.
Failed Dating Advice
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I heard kidnappers give terrible dating advice. Just take them somewhere secluded, make sure they can't leave, and... oh wait, that’s not how you win someone's heart?
Napping on the Job
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I heard kidnappers are always tired at work. It’s tough keeping up with those late-night demands. Ugh, another ransom call? Can't this wait till morning? I need my beauty sleep!
Awkward Resumes
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Imagine trying to write a resume as a kidnapper. Skilled in discrete transportation, efficient hostage negotiation, and creating uncomfortable family reunions.
Secretive Networking
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You think your job’s tough to explain at networking events? Imagine being a kidnapper. I’m in... uh, transportation logistics. No, no, not Uber. More like... involuntary travel arrangements.
Kidnappers Anonymous
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You ever heard of Kidnappers Anonymous? It’s a support group for kidnappers trying to quit their job. I mean, talk about an awkward gathering. Hi, my name is Bob, and for the past five years, I’ve been scaring the living daylights out of people for a living.
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