10 Jokes For Kidnappers

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Nov 13 2024

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You know it's a bad day when even kidnappers are like, "Nah, let's find someone else. This person's life is too complicated.
I'm thinking of starting a new business: "Rent-A-Kidnapper." For those days when life is too routine, and you just need a little excitement. "Spice up your week with a simulated life-threatening experience!
I heard about this guy who got kidnapped and then returned. He said it was like being on a really intense, unplanned vacation. All-inclusive, except you pay with your sanity.
Imagine being a kidnapper and realizing you've kidnapped someone who never stops talking. Suddenly, you're the one begging for mercy.
Kidnapping has got to be the only job where you can literally say, "I'm not here to make friends," and mean it.
Kidnappers must have a terrible GPS. "Take the third left after the red house, but not the one with the dog, he bites.
I bet kidnappers have a group chat where they share stories like, "Guess what happened to me today? The guy I kidnapped wanted gluten-free bread with his sandwiches!
Kidnappers must be the only criminals who have a "Customer Satisfaction" survey. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how was your kidnapping experience? Did our ransom demands meet your expectations?
You ever notice how kidnappers always choose the most inconvenient times? Like, I've got deadlines, bills to pay, and suddenly a kidnapper thinks, "This is the perfect moment for an adventure!
Kidnappers must be really disappointed when they find out their victim's mom doesn't have the money they thought she did. "Ma'am, we expected more from your Pinterest-worthy house.

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