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The Kidnappee
Being an uncooperative kidnappee
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My kidnapper complained that I was being uncooperative. I said, "Sorry, I didn't realize this was supposed to be a team-building exercise.
The Kidnapper
Trying to be a considerate kidnapper
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Kidnapper tip: If you're going to abduct someone, at least offer them Wi-Fi in the secret basement lair. It's the polite thing to do.
The Police Officer
Investigating the kidnapping
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Found a ransom note with terrible grammar. I thought, "If you're going to commit a crime, at least use correct punctuation. It's the least you can do for society.
The Negotiator
Trying to negotiate a ransom for the kidnappee
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I tried negotiating a lower ransom, and the kidnapper said, "Are you trying to get a discount on your own life?" I replied, "Hey, times are tough for everyone.
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