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Laundry day is like a magical day where socks disappear into another dimension. Seriously, where do they go? There's probably a sock party happening in a parallel universe right now, and we're just here wondering where the mates went.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new sponge for the kitchen. "Oh, this one has a scrubbing side? My cleaning game just leveled up!
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Why is it that the one piece of mail you don't want anyone to see is the one that's impossible to open discreetly? You're there, trying to tear it open like a secret agent, but it sounds like you're wrestling with a bag of chips during a movie.
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I was at the grocery store the other day, and I couldn't help but wonder - why is it that the express checkout line is always the slowest? I mean, is there a hidden rule that says, "You can only buy 10 items, but we're going to take our sweet time scanning each one"?
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Going to the gym is a lot like scrolling through Netflix. You spend more time deciding what to do than actually doing it. "Cardio, weights, or just sit in the sauna and contemplate life for an hour?
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Why is it that the remote control only goes missing when you're already comfortable on the couch? It's like the universe is testing your commitment to the show you're watching. "Are you dedicated enough to get up and find me?
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You ever notice how the snooze button on the alarm clock is basically just the adult version of hitting the "I'm not ready" button in a video game? "Give me five more minutes, life, I'm not ready for this level yet!
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You ever notice how every chair is a rocking chair if you're nervous enough? Job interview? Rocking chair. Waiting for test results? Rocking chair. It's the universal sign of "I can't handle this right now.
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You ever notice how GPS gets offended when you don't follow its instructions? It's like, "Recalculating..." Yeah, well, maybe if you had mentioned that turn earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess, GPS.
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