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You know, I recently discovered this new app called "Jewber." It's like Uber, but for Jewish grandmas who want to make sure you never leave their house hungry. You order a ride, and they show up with enough matzo ball soup to feed a small army. It's like having a GPS-guided Bubbe patrol.
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I asked my Jewber driver for restaurant recommendations, and she started listing places like she was reading from the Torah. "Thou shalt go to Moishe's Deli for the holiest pastrami in the land!
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I used Jewber the other day, and the driver was so sweet. She not only gave me a ride but also insisted on telling me about her grandson's achievements for the entire trip. By the time we reached my destination, I knew more about little Jeremy's soccer triumphs than I did about my own life.
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Jewber drivers have this incredible talent for turning every conversation into a guilt trip. "You should visit your mother more often, you know. It's been at least two days since she called me to complain about it.
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I got into a Jewber, and the driver immediately handed me a bagel. I thought it was a snack, but she said, "You never know when you'll need a weapon against hunger. It's New York, darling.
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So, I called Jewber, and my driver was this lovely Jewish grandma. She had this whole bag of snacks in the car - rugelach, babka, you name it. I felt like I was on a culinary tour of the Borscht Belt during rush hour.
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I love Jewber, but sometimes the drivers are a bit too protective. Mine insisted on waiting until I safely entered the building. It was like having a personal guardian angel with a penchant for brisket.
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Jewber drivers are the unsung comedians of our time. They've got more punchlines than a Catskills comedy show. I swear, if they ever decide to do stand-up, they'd give Seinfeld a run for his money.
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The Jewber app is great, but they need to add a feature where you can request a driver who will argue with you about what route is faster. "Trust me, sweetheart, I've been driving in this city longer than Waze has existed!
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