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You know, people often talk about wanting to live forever. Well, not me. I don't want to be immortal. Imagine the conversations you'd have after a few centuries! Actor voice: "Hey, remember the 15th century?"
Me: "Oh, you mean the one with all the plagues and witch hunts? Yeah, good times!"
And let's not forget trying to keep up with the latest trends. I mean, can you imagine an immortal trying to stay 'hip'? They'd probably still be using 'ye olde English' and thinking it's trendy!
Me: "What up, fellow kids? Art thou vibing with this thou doth music?"
The worst part about being immortal? Everyone else's mortality. Making friends? It's like collecting Pokémon cards, but instead of trading, they just... vanish! It's like, "Oh, you're gone. Gotta catch 'em all... oh wait, I'm stuck here!"
And don't even get me started on the dating scene! "Oh, you're mortal? Yeah, this isn't gonna work out. I'll just wait here while you age and wither away. No biggie."
Seems like a tough gig, being immortal. I'll stick to my mortal shenanigans, thank you very much.
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Imagine being immortal and trying to manage your finances. I mean, talk about long-term investments! Me: "Alright, let's put some gold here, a few stocks there, and oh, throw in some cryptocurrency – because why not wait a thousand years to see if it pays off?"
But the real struggle? Retirement planning. "401k? Nah, I'm thinking more like a 40,000-year plan. Gotta make sure I've got enough for those intergalactic cruises!"
And when it comes to estate planning, forget passing things down to your kids. It's more like, "Hey, great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren, here's a castle I bought during the Renaissance. Don't spend it all in one millennium!"
So, kudos to the immortal beings out there – managing finances for eternity sounds like a headache I'm glad to avoid!
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You ever think about what an immortal's bucket list would look like? I mean, they've got all the time in the universe, right? Item 1: Learn every language.
"Alright, so far I've got Klingon, Dothraki, and Elvish. Next up, Pig Latin!"
Item 2: Master every skill.
"Today, I'll be learning how to ride a dinosaur. Tomorrow, I'll try my hand at quantum physics."
Item 3: Travel the world.
"Been there, done that, bought the ancient artifact. Oh, look, another pyramid!"
But let's be real, after a few thousand years, that bucket list just turns into a never-ending scroll. It's like, "Learn to play the sitar – oh, the sitar's not invented yet. Well, add that to the 'waitlist for inventions' category!"
And you know they'd be terrible at making plans. "Hey, wanna hang out?" "Sure, how's next century?"
Seriously, I'd rather have a manageable to-do list than an immortal's never-ending scroll any day!
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So, I've been thinking about immortality lately. Like, sure, living forever sounds cool in theory, but think about it – you'd be a living relic! People would be like, "Hey, do you remember that immortal guy from way back when?" And then there's the eternal question of careers. I mean, how many times can you change careers when you have all the time in the world? "In the 18th century, I was a blacksmith. In the 20th century, I tried my hand at being an astronaut. And now, well, I'm thinking about becoming a TikTok influencer!"
Oh, and relationships? Talk about long-term commitment! You'd have to break up with someone like, "Sorry, it's not you, it's the fact that you'll be dust in a hundred years and I'll still be here."
But imagine the awkwardness of family reunions. "Grandpa's coming!" Grandpa who's seen kingdoms rise and fall, witnessed history unfold. And you're like, "Hey, Grandpa, can you help me fix my Wi-Fi? You know, your specialty from the Stone Age?"
Yeah, immortality might sound glamorous, but I'll take my mortal problems any day!
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