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The whole nine yards." What does that even mean? Why not the whole ten yards? Are we rationing yards now? I want the whole football field, not just a snippet!
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The early bird gets the worm, they say. Well, call me fashionably late, because I'd rather have a bagel. Worms are overrated, and mornings are just a suggestion, right?
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You ever notice how "out of sight, out of mind" is the unofficial mantra for organizing your closet? As if my clothes magically forget they exist just because I can't see them behind a closed door.
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Piece of cake" is such a deceptive idiom. Whoever came up with that clearly never tried assembling furniture from a certain Scandinavian store. It's more like a puzzle designed by a sadistic pastry chef.
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We use the phrase "caught red-handed" when someone is caught doing something wrong. But why red? Did they dip their hands in ketchup before getting caught? "Officer, I swear it's just marinara sauce!
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You know you're an adult when going to the hardware store becomes a weekend adventure. It's like stepping into Narnia, but instead of a magical world, you find yourself lost in a maze of pipe fittings and lightbulb options.
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They say "don't judge a book by its cover," but let's be honest, we all judge books by their covers. If a book has a cool cover, I'm more likely to read it. Sorry, Shakespeare, but your plain parchment look doesn't scream "page-turner.
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Bite the bullet" – because apparently, when facing a tough situation, chewing on metal is the best way to cope. I tried it once, and let me tell you, dental bills are no joke.
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We often say "throw in the towel" when giving up, but who throws in towels? Towels are valuable! If I'm surrendering, I'm tossing in that mismatched sock that lost its partner ages ago. Good luck finding a match now!
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