4 Jokes For Hyatt

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jun 04 2025

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You know how every hotel has those sleek elevators? Yeah, the ones that make you feel like you're in a sci-fi movie. So, I hop into the Hyatt elevator, feeling all high-tech and important. The doors close, and I'm ready to ascend to my room in style.
But wait, these elevators have a mind of their own. It's like they're playing a game of random floor roulette. You press 15, and suddenly you're stopping at floors 2, 7, and 11 for no apparent reason. I'm starting to think this elevator has a personal vendetta against me.
And don't get me started on the awkward elevator silence. You're standing there with strangers, avoiding eye contact, and trying not to make it obvious that you're counting the seconds until the doors open. Elevators turn normal people into social ninjas – we become experts at avoiding unnecessary small talk.
Can we talk about the thermostat in hotel rooms? It's like a battleground. I set it to a comfortable temperature, but apparently, the hotel has its own climate agenda. I wake up in the middle of the night either freezing or sweating, trying to negotiate a peace treaty with the thermostat.
I call the front desk for help, and they send up a technician with a PhD in thermostatology. The guy walks in, adjusts a hidden setting that I didn't even know existed, and suddenly the room is a perfect 72 degrees. It's like he's the thermostat whisperer. I'm just sitting there in awe, wondering if I can hire him to come to my house and tame my unruly thermostat.
And why do they make it so complicated? It's like they want us to suffer through a temperature rollercoaster just for their amusement. "Welcome to Hotel Hyatt, where the thermostat is our way of testing your survival skills.
Staying at a Hyatt is like being in a foreign country. They've got their own language, and I'm convinced they hire linguistic experts just to confuse us. I asked the concierge for a recommendation on where to eat, and suddenly I'm deciphering a secret menu code.
"Ah, sir, you must try the gastronomic symphony at Le Petit Château du Cuisine." What? I just want a burger, not a culinary opera. I feel like I need a translator just to order room service.
And let's talk about the TV remote. It's got so many buttons that I'm convinced there's one that orders a pizza. I pressed something, and suddenly the curtains started closing, the lights dimmed, and I'm pretty sure I accidentally initiated the hotel's nightly ritual.
You ever stay at a Hyatt? Yeah, the fancy hotel chain. I recently had the pleasure of staying at one, and let me tell you, it was like entering the VIP section of life. They've got those fluffy robes, the mini bar that's more expensive than a college textbook, and a bed so comfortable you start questioning your own mattress back home.
But here's the thing, they have this fancy coffee machine in the room that looks like it's from the future. I mean, I just want a cup of coffee, not a NASA mission control briefing. There are more buttons on that thing than on my TV remote, and half of them sound like they could launch a space shuttle.
I press one button, thinking it's just going to give me a regular cup of joe, and suddenly steam is hissing, lights are blinking, and I'm pretty sure I accidentally summoned a coffee demon. I just wanted caffeine, not a mystical coffee experience!

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