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Why did the house lord start a gardening business? Because he wanted to 'grow property values'!
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Why did the house lord hire a comedian as a property manager? For 'good-humored maintenance'!
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Why was the house lord always calm during tenant complaints? He had 'patience walls'!
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Why did the house lord get into real estate? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the house lord start a roofing business? He wanted to 'raise the roof'!
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Why was the house lord always calm during tenant complaints? He had excellent 'inner walls'!
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Why did the house lord refuse to negotiate the rent? He had a 'firm foundation' for his prices!
House Lords
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House lords – it sounds like a title you get after successfully navigating a maze of paperwork and dodging the fiery hoops of bureaucracy. I tried filling out a mortgage application once, and I felt like I was in a quest to retrieve the Holy Grail. Spoiler alert: The Holy Grail is a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage.
House Lords
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House lords – it sounds like a medieval fantasy game. I can see it now, Level 1: Obtain a Studio Apartment. Level 10: Upgrade to a One-Bedroom Castle. But here I am, stuck at Level 3, trying to defeat the boss level of assembling IKEA furniture.
House Lords
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So, I recently discovered the existence of something called house lords. I thought they were like these mystical beings ruling over our living spaces, but turns out, it's just a fancy term for people who own a lot of property. I mean, I barely own my morning coffee, let alone a house. Maybe I can be the lord of my apartment... Lord of the Living Room, Protector of the Microwave!
House Lords
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So, apparently, there are house lords wandering among us. I tried to spot one in my neighborhood, but all I found was Dave, who can't even lord over his lawnmower. I mean, the grass is winning the battle, Dave. Surrender and embrace the dandelions.
House Lords
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House lords are like the VIPs of the property world. I bet when they walk into Home Depot, the employees break into a chorus of Hail to the Lords! Meanwhile, when I walk in, they're like, Oh look, it's the Duke of Duct Tape and the Earl of Extension Cords.
House Lords
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House lords, really? I can barely manage being the lord of my own sock drawer. I open it, and socks are having a rebellion in there. They're like, Down with matching pairs! Chaos and mismatched freedom! Imagine me as a house lord – I'd probably have a rebellion in the kitchen with the spatulas staging a coup against the ladles.
House Lords
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I heard the term house lords and thought it was a new reality show. You know, a bunch of property owners competing in challenges like Who Can Fix a Leaky Faucet the Fastest or Survivor: Mortgage Edition. Spoiler alert: Nobody survives the interest rates.
House Lords
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House lords have it all – property, real estate, and probably secret meetings where they discuss the most effective way to fold fitted sheets. Meanwhile, I'm over here celebrating like I won an Olympic gold medal when I manage to fold my laundry without losing a sock.
House Lords
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I heard about these house lords, and I thought, Wow, they must be like royalty, living in these grand palaces. But no, they're just folks with a lot of property. If having multiple mortgages makes you a lord, then call me the Baron of Bank Loans. I've got a whole kingdom of debt.
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