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Joke Types
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Why did the doctor become a gardener? He wanted to see his patients 'blossom' back to health!
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Why did the hospital workers form a band? They wanted to have a 'chart'-topping performance in every ward!
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Why did the nurse always carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
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Why did the doctor carry a red umbrella? Just in case they caught a case of the flu!
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Why do doctors always carry a red carpet? In case they need to give a grand entrance to the emergency room!
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Why did the doctor carry a red notebook? To keep track of all the patients in 'red'-iculous conditions!
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Why did the hospital receptionist become a musician? She wanted to excel in 'patient'ly handling notes!
Doctor's Handwriting
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I went to the hospital the other day, and the doctor handed me a prescription. I said, Are you sure this isn't just a sketch of a chicken scratch contest?
The Parking Situation
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Why is it easier to find a vein for a blood test than it is to find parking at a hospital? You'd think they'd prioritize making one of those more accessible.
Elevator Music
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Have you ever noticed the elevator music in hospitals? It's like they're trying to prepare you for the afterlife with the most bland tunes.
Bedside Manners
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Doctors always ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10. I once said 11, and the doctor said, Oh, you're just exaggerating. Buddy, my arm was hanging by a thread!
Hospital Bills
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After a week in the hospital, I was expecting a bill. What I wasn't expecting was the cost of a week's stay to be the same as a small car. Do they think they're offering a luxury suite?
Hospital Workers' Break Room
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You ever notice how hospital workers take breaks in rooms that look more depressing than the waiting areas? Like, shouldn't they get a VIP lounge for having to deal with so much blood and... well, us?
The Cafeteria Food
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You think hospitals would have top-notch food, right? But I swear, the only reason those Jell-O cups are still in business is because of hospital cafeterias.
The Gown
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You know you're in for a wild time when the hospital gown they give you has more openings than a Broadway show.
Medical Terminology
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Doctors love their fancy terms. I told a nurse I had a sore throat, and she said, Ah, you're experiencing a bilateral pharyngeal discomfort. Just give me a lozenge and let me live!
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