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Have you ever tried to have a serious conversation with a horse? They just stare at you like you're speaking a different language. I guess I can't blame them; I can barely understand my GPS half the time.
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You know you're adulting when you start discussing horsepower in terms of engines instead of actual horses. I miss the days when "horsepower" meant a majestic creature and not just a unit of measurement for my car.
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Horseback riding is the only sport where the athlete does all the work, and you're just along for the ride. It's like signing up for a marathon and hiring someone to carry you on their back. Lazy marathon, anyone?
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Horses are like the original eco-friendly transportation. They've been carpooling with us humans for centuries. I bet they're secretly judging us for upgrading to those gas-guzzlers.
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Horses must think we're incredibly weird with our two-legged walking style. I bet they have secret horse meetings where they imitate our walks for a good laugh. "Look at me, I'm human – clip-clop, clip-clop.
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Horse-drawn carriages? More like the original Uber, right? I can imagine them rating us with neighs instead of stars. "Four neighs out of five. Passenger smelled like carrots.
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I saw a sign that said, "Caution: Horses may bite." Well, I'd be grumpy too if I had to carry people around all day. I mean, I get it, Mr. Ed. I really do.
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Horses always seem so chill, just grazing in the field. I wish I could achieve that level of inner peace. But no, I'm over here stressing about my Wi-Fi signal while they're zen masters of the pasture.
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You ever notice how horses are basically the hipsters of the animal kingdom? They've been rocking the mane and tail combo way before it was cool. I mean, talk about a fashion-forward species!
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