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What did the vampire say to his victim? It's been a 'fang'-tastic evening!
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Why do ghosts love to go to the movies? Because they can go through the screen without buying a ticket!
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Horror Films: You know a horror movie is intense when the characters start making bad decisions, and you're just sitting there yelling, 'No, don't go in there!' But let's be real, if I were in a horror movie, I'd be the one tripping over nothing and getting caught immediately.
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Horror Films: Monsters and aliens always invade Earth. Why not go to some other planet for a change? I can picture an alien arriving on Earth, taking one look at our horror movie selection, and saying, 'You know what, maybe Mars isn't so bad after all.'
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Horror Films: I love how they make the most irrational decisions in the most critical situations. If my life depended on it, I wouldn't be running upstairs; I'd be ordering a pizza and negotiating with the killer. 'How about spare me, and I'll throw in some cheesy bread?'
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Horror Films: Ghosts always seem to have unfinished business. Honestly, if I were a ghost, my unfinished business would be finding out who keeps stealing my socks from the laundry. I'd be haunting the sock thief, not an old mansion!
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Horror Films: The only genre where a group of teenagers thinks it's a fantastic idea to split up in the face of imminent danger. I can't even get my friends to agree on a restaurant, and these kids are dividing up against a chainsaw-wielding maniac!
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Horror Films: They make you believe that every creaky door and flickering light is a sign of impending doom. In my house, those are just signs that it's time to call the handyman and pay the electricity bill.
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Horror Films: They love to mess with your mind, but I've figured out the secret to surviving any horror movie – just don't be the person who says, 'I'll be right back.' That's like signing your own ghostly death warrant. I've started saying, 'I'm staying here forever, bye!'
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Horror Films: Why do ghosts always choose to haunt creepy old houses? Like, why not haunt a tropical beach or a spa? 'Ooh, I'm the ghost of a chilled-out surfer, just here to give you some relaxing vibes.'
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Horror Films: The only time when hearing ominous music is a signal to investigate strange noises in the basement. In real life, hearing eerie music means I'm checking the fridge for the source of that mysterious smell.
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