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Ketchup Bottle
The struggle of being stuck in the bottle
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My therapist says I have issues expressing myself. I told her I'm like a Heinz bottle; I need a good smack on the back to get my feelings out.
Dietitian
The dilemma of advising clients on healthy eating while acknowledging their love for ketchup
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I had a client tell me, "Ketchup is a vegetable, right?" I wish, but no, you can't count it as your daily greens. Imagine a salad dressing, though – problem solved!
Diner Chef
Dealing with customers who demand a never-ending supply of ketchup
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There should be a support group for chefs who have been traumatized by ketchup addicts. "Hi, my name is Chef Mike, and I've lost too many good dishes to the ketchup epidemic.
French Fries
The jealousy of being overshadowed by ketchup on a hot dog
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My dream is to be the main event, not just a sidekick. Ketchup thinks it's the star of the show, but fries have feelings too, you know!
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