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At the end of the speech, she says, "Let's make our high school experience unforgettable." I'm thinking, "Challenge accepted, but can we start by making sure the bathroom stalls have functioning locks?
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The head girl mentioned fostering a sense of community. I'm all for it, but can we start by not judging someone for bringing a lunchbox shaped like a spaceship? It's cool, Karen, my lunch is out of this world.
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You ever notice how head girl speeches sound like a sneak peek into a self-help book for teenagers? "Chapter 1: How to Survive Cafeteria Food, and Other Life-Changing Strategies.
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The head girl goes on about responsibility and leadership. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to figure out how to responsibly eat a bag of chips without waking up everyone in the library.
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The head girl mentioned creating a better school environment. I'm just here wondering if that includes upgrading the Wi-Fi so I can finally submit my homework without a prayer and a sacrifice to the internet gods.
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So, I was listening to a head girl speech the other day, and she started with, "We are the future leaders of tomorrow." I thought, "Great, but can we start with mastering the art of not tripping over our own backpacks first?
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In the middle of the speech, she says, "We need to work together to achieve greatness." I'm thinking, "Can we start by coordinating bathroom breaks so there's never a line when I really need it?
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She talks about time management, but my biggest struggle is managing to look interested in this speech while daydreaming about what I'm having for dinner.
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The head girl said, "We should embrace diversity." Meanwhile, I'm just trying to find a diverse range of excuses for why I'm always late to first period.
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