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What do you call a group of musical whiskey bottles? A symphony of spirits!
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Why did the bourbon refuse to talk? It had too many things on the rocks!
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Why did the whiskey break up with the soda? It couldn't handle the fizz-tastic drama!
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They say alcohol doesn't solve problems, but neither does milk – unless your problem is that you're not having enough White Russians.
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Hard liquor is the magical potion that turns 'I should go home' into 'Let's see where this night takes us.' Spoiler alert: it's usually regret and a hangover.
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Hard liquor is like a high-speed roller coaster. It's exhilarating at first, but halfway through, you start questioning all your life choices and praying it'll be over soon.
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Hard liquor is like that one friend who always says, 'Just one more,' but then suddenly you find yourself doing things you'll need to apologize for the next day.
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You know you've had too much hard liquor when you start having deep conversations with inanimate objects, thinking they understand your life choices better than anyone else.
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Drinking hard liquor is like playing a game of truth or dare with yourself, except the dare always wins, and the truth is, you'll regret it tomorrow.
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Hard liquor – the only thing that can make you feel brave enough to text your ex at 3 AM without even considering the consequences.
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You know you're getting old when you look at a bottle of hard liquor and your first thought is, 'That's going to give me a headache just by looking at it.'
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Hard liquor – the liquid courage that makes karaoke seem like a fantastic idea until you wake up the next day and realize you've invented a new form of torture.
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