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You ever notice how Han Solo and my Wi-Fi have something in common? They both have a tendency to go rogue at the worst possible moment. "I've got a bad feeling about this" applies equally to a spaceship and my internet connection.
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Han Solo is the only guy who can make a spaceship run on charm and a cool vest. Meanwhile, my car needs a constant stream of expensive gas and a mechanic who talks to it like a therapist. "Come on, baby, you can make it one more mile!
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Han Solo's blaster is like the original space-age fidget spinner. You can just picture him casually spinning it in his hand while waiting for the Millennium Falcon to warm up. Meanwhile, I'm here nervously tapping my foot at the coffee machine.
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Han Solo has the kind of confidence I need when I'm trying to parallel park. I wish I could just slide into a tight spot with a smirk and a witty comment. Instead, I'm there sweating bullets, hoping I don't scratch the car next to me.
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You ever notice how Han Solo is like that guy in your group project who does all the work but never gets the credit? I mean, Luke Skywalker gets the fancy lightsaber, Princess Leia gets the leadership role, and all Han gets is a pat on the back and a "Good job, smuggler.
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Han Solo is the ultimate wingman. I mean, he literally helped Luke Skywalker get together with his sister. That's dedication to playing matchmaker, even in a galaxy far, far away.
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Han Solo and my microwave have something in common – they both make beeping noises that make me question if I've just successfully navigated a dangerous space mission or simply heated up my leftovers.
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I bet Han Solo never had to deal with the struggle of finding matching socks in the morning. He probably just grabbed whatever was lying around the Millennium Falcon and made it look effortlessly cool.
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You know you're getting old when you realize that Han Solo, the charming rogue of your youth, is now just a scruffy-looking nerf herder with a dad bod. Time flies, and apparently, so does the Millennium Falcon – at a slightly slower pace.
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