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Why did the vampire become a vegetarian? Stakeholders warned him about the risks of a bloody diet!
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Why did the ghost go to the party? Because he heard it was going to be a boo-las!
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Why was the jack-o'-lantern sad? Because it had too many seeds of doubt!
Halloween, when kids pick costumes that represent their dreams, and dads pick costumes that represent their midlife crisis!
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My son wants to be an astronaut, and I'm here thinking, Maybe I should be a pirate and finally find that treasure I buried in the backyard when I was five.
Halloween, the one day kids can ask their dads for money without being judged!
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My daughter said, Dad, for Halloween, I want to be rich. I said, Sweetie, I can give you the experience by just saying 'no' to your requests.
Halloween, the night kids aspire to be their favorite characters, and dads aspire to remember where they left their car keys!
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My son said, Dad, I want to be Harry Potter. I said, I want to be 'Forgetful Dumbledore'—I can't find my wand, but I can find a good nap spot.
Halloween, the one night a year kids tell their dad they want to be something other than a disappointment!
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You know, it's the only time little Timmy looks at his dad and says, Dad, for Halloween, I want to be someone successful!
Halloween, the night kids can finally express themselves, and dads can pretend they understand current trends!
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My daughter came up to me and said, Dad, for Halloween, I want to be a TikTok influencer. I said, Sure, sweetie, just make sure your costume has zero creativity and involves a lot of pointing at things.
Halloween, when kids choose costumes scarier than their dad's cooking!
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My son said, Dad, I want to be a ghost for Halloween. I said, Great, just make sure it doesn't resemble your review of my lasagna.
Halloween, where kids aim for the spookiest costume, and dads aim for the most terrifying dad joke!
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My daughter said, Dad, I want to be a zombie. I said, Great, I'll be a 'dead battery'—you know, the scariest thing in the world for a dad.
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Halloween, the night kids dress up as their favorite superheroes, and dads dress up as 'the guy who understands technology!'
Halloween, the time when kids ask their dads for candy, and dads ask kids for a tutorial on using the latest gadgets!
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I tried to trade candy with my son, and he said, Dad, I'll give you my Kit Kat if you teach me how to set up the new gaming console. I said, Deal, but you'll also need to throw in a lesson on how to use the TV remote.
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