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Ever noticed how gurneys are like the stretch limos of the hospital world? Except instead of champagne, you get an IV drip, and instead of a red carpet, it's a hallway with fluorescent lights.
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Why do gurneys always have that slightly terrifying squeak? I swear, every time I hear it, I feel like I'm in a horror movie audition, and that's the soundtrack!
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Gurneys are the real-life version of a convertible car. One minute you're walking, and the next, you're on a ride you didn't sign up for, with wheels and everything!
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Gurneys should come with a GPS system. "Turn left at the next corridor, and you'll reach the surgery suite in approximately 30 seconds. Mind the speed bumps!
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You ever wonder if gurneys have a secret society? Like, they meet up after hours and gossip about all the interesting passengers they've had that day. "Oh, you had Mr. Thompson too? He's such a backseat driver!
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Gurneys are the closest thing we have to a mobile bed and breakfast. "Good morning! Would you like some pain meds with your continental breakfast?
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Is it just me, or do gurneys have the uncanny ability to appear out of nowhere when you least expect them? One minute you're in the ER waiting room, and the next, you're on a fast track to X-ray town!
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You ever notice how gurneys in hospitals are like the VIP seats of the medical world? You're lying there, and suddenly everyone wants to push you around, but no one asks for your opinion on the destination!
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Gurneys have this magical power of making you feel both incredibly vulnerable and oddly powerful at the same time. Like, sure, I can't move, but look at me, I'm the king of the hallway!
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