18 Jokes For Greek Philosopher

Puns

Updated on: Jul 31 2024

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What did Pythagoras say about the tree? Its roots square the branches!
What did Heraclitus say to his friend who was always late? You can never step in the same 'river' of excuses twice!
Why was Zeno always invited to parties? He could never 'move' out of conversations!
Why did Aristotle carry a stopwatch? To keep track of his 'Prime' time!
Why did Heraclitus become a musician? He found harmony in 'changing' tunes!
Why did Socrates refuse to share his dessert? Because he wanted to keep his ideas sweet and unique.
What do you call a philosopher who's also a gardener? Sow-crates!
How did Plato greet his friends? With 'ideal' hugs and 'perfect' high-fives!

Aristotle's Pet Peeve

Aristotle's always going on about logic and reason. I bet if he was around today, he'd be that guy correcting everyone's grammar on Twitter. It's 'your' not 'you're'! Thanks, Aristotle. Tweet well spent.

Heraclitus' Hot Takes

Heraclitus said, You can't step in the same river twice. I tried explaining this to my cat after she stepped in her water bowl. She wasn’t philosophically enlightened; she was just annoyed.

Socrates' Last Words

Socrates said, I know that I know nothing. I bet his wife was like, That's cute, honey, but can you at least pretend to know where you left your sandals?

Plato's Dilemma

Plato had some wild ideas. He's out here talking about shadows on a cave wall, and I'm like, Dude, ever thought about upgrading to a 4K TV?

Philosophical Problems

You know, Greek philosophers had it tough. Imagine being the first guy to sit down and ponder, What's the meaning of life? And then his buddy says, Can we just enjoy this gyro first?

Pythagoras' Musical Taste

Pythagoras believed in the harmony of the spheres. I guess that's where we got the idea that music heals the soul. Either that or he was just really into triangles and wanted a catchy jingle for his geometry lessons.

Toga Thoughts

Greek philosophers wore togas, right? That's because they were always ready for a philosophical debate or a spontaneous toga party. Is the universe infinite?

Zeno's Never-ending Walk

Zeno, with his paradoxes. You can never reach your destination because you always have to cover half the distance. Sounds like my attempt to go on a diet. I'm always halfway to the fridge.

Diogenes' Barrel of Laughs

Diogenes lived in a barrel. I bet he's the same guy who'd say, I'm not homeless; I'm just practicing minimalism. Yeah, try explaining that to the landlord.

Epicurus' Happy Meal

Epicurus said, We should seek pleasure and avoid pain. Sounds like he'd be first in line at McDonald's when they introduced the Happy Meal. Ah, the simple joys in life!

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