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Why did the pillow go to bed early? It wanted to get ahead in the dreams business.
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Why did the mathematician refuse to sleep? He was afraid of too many nightmares!
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What do you call a nocturnal insect who loves bedtime stories? A moth who's a real bookworm!
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I recently got a 'good night' text, and my phone vibrated so enthusiastically, I thought I'd won the lottery. Turns out, it was just my mom wishing me a peaceful sleep. Jackpot, right?
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Getting a 'good night' is like the universe hitting you with a soft reset button. It's the universe's way of saying, 'You've had enough of this day; let's try again tomorrow – maybe with fewer typos and more successful adulting.'
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I got a 'good night' from my boss once, and for a moment, I thought I was getting a promotion. Turns out, he was just being polite. Well, there goes my dreams of becoming the CEO of 'Dreams and Naps Incorporated.'
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I got a 'good night' from my pet goldfish once. Either he's learned how to text or I've officially lost it. I'm just waiting for him to start critiquing my Netflix choices next. 'Good night, but seriously, pick a better show next time, Karen!'
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You know you're an adult when 'good night' from someone is more exciting than any party invitation. I get a 'good night,' and I'm like, 'Well, looks like I'm winning at this adulting thing!'
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Someone sent me a 'good night' emoji, and I couldn't help but wonder, is that the digital version of tucking me in or more like swiping left on our conversation? Emojis are the new mixed signals, I swear!
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I replied to 'good night' with 'morning,' just to mess with people's sense of time. Now I'm stuck in a perpetual state of confusion. Is it bedtime or brunch time? Who knows! I'm living on the edge of the clock.
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The other day, someone told me 'good night.' I said, 'Thanks, I've been practicing for that moment my entire life. It's my one true talent – I can nail a good night like nobody else!'
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I tried responding to 'good night' with 'great night,' but apparently, that's not how it works. People just stared at me like I'd declared myself the mayor of awkward town. Note to self: stick to the script.
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