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I heard getting a job at GameStop is harder than defeating the final boss in Dark Souls. They put you through the ultimate gaming challenge during the interview. First, you have to survive a round of rapid-fire questions about every game ever released. They hit you with, "Name all the characters in 'Final Fantasy VII,' recite the cheat codes for 'Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas,' and explain the plot of 'Metal Gear Solid' without taking a breath." And then, just when you think you've aced it, they throw in a curveball: "What's the Konami code backward?" If you can answer that without Googling, congratulations, you're now qualified to work at GameStop.
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You ever try to trade in games at GameStop? It's like you're entering a black market for used games. You walk up to the counter, and the employee inspects your games with the scrutiny of an art dealer checking for forgeries. They're like, "Yeah, we can give you 50 cents for this masterpiece." But here's the thing: They'll turn around and sell that same game for ten bucks! It's like they're running a racket on the side. I imagine GameStop employees in a back room, wearing trench coats, whispering to customers, "Psst, hey buddy, wanna buy a slightly scratched copy of 'Fortnite'?"
And you know what's the cherry on top? They always ask if you want to pre-order something else with the store credit you just earned. It's like, "Sure, let me pre-order the game I just gave you for a fraction of its value. Seems like a fair trade!
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GameStop employees have this Jedi mind trick they play on you when you're at the checkout. You go in for one game, and they're like, "Would you like to pre-order the deluxe edition with exclusive DLC and a limited-edition poster?" And you're standing there, thinking, "Do I want the poster? Do I need the DLC? Is my life incomplete without the deluxe edition?" It's like they're trying to turn every customer into a high-stakes gambler at the blackjack table. I swear, GameStop employees could sell ice to Eskimos. They've got that charm that makes you walk out with more games than you intended to buy. It's like, "Congratulations, you came in for 'Mario Kart,' and now you own the entire 'Assassin's Creed' series.
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You ever been to GameStop? Those employees, man, they're like the gatekeepers of the nerd realm. They know everything about video games, but they guard that knowledge like it's a classified government secret. I walked in there the other day, and I asked a simple question about a game release date. The guy behind the counter looked at me like I just asked for the nuclear launch codes. I said, "Hey, buddy, I just wanna know when 'Cyberpunk 2077' is dropping." And he leans in, lowers his voice, and goes, "I can tell you, but then I'll have to erase your memory." I'm thinking, "Dude, you're not a GameStop employee; you're a superhero with a terrible origin story!
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