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The Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist
Seeing conspiracies everywhere, even in the most mundane situations.
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I've got a theory that my alarm clock is plotting against me. Every morning it's like, 'You can't snooze me forever, Gabriel!'
The Misguided Relationship Expert
Providing relationship advice despite having a terrible dating history.
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They say those who can't do, teach. Well, I can't maintain a relationship, so naturally, I decided to become a relationship guru.
The Clumsy Cooking Show Host
Creating chaos in the kitchen with disastrous cooking skills.
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My show's called 'Kitchen Catastrophes.' Think of it as 'Fear Factor' but instead of bugs, it's my cooking you’re scared of.
The Absent-Minded Tech Support Agent
Constantly forgetting basic troubleshooting steps.
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I tried the 'turn it off and on again' technique so many times, my boss thought I was auditioning for a role in a light switch commercial.
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