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You know you're an adult when your idea of a wild night involves staying in, ordering your favorite food, and scrolling through Netflix, contemplating the meaning of life between bites of pizza.
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They say you are what you eat. If that's true, then I must be a complex, multi-layered, and slightly cheesy person. No wonder I get along so well with lasagna.
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I've come to the conclusion that the only time I enjoy cooking is when I'm making my favorite food. It's like my culinary skills are on a break until pizza night rolls around, and suddenly I'm Gordon Ramsay. "This pepperoni placement is pure art!
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Favorite food is a tricky thing. My relationship with it is like a rollercoaster. One day I'm on top of the world, enjoying a burger, and the next day I'm at the bottom, trying to squeeze into my jeans, thinking, "Well, that escalated quickly.
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Eating healthy is a struggle. You ever try to convince yourself that a salad is just as satisfying as a burger? It's like trying to convince a dog that a chew toy is just as fun as chasing a squirrel. Nice try, but no.
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You ever notice how salads are like the ex of favorite foods? You break up with pizza for a while, trying to see other foods, and suddenly salads show up at your doorstep like, "I heard you're single now.
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I've realized my favorite food and I have a lot in common. We both love to be in the spotlight, but we're not really photogenic. I mean, have you ever seen a flattering picture of lasagna? It's like trying to capture Bigfoot.
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Pizza is the ultimate mood swinger. One minute you're feeling all sophisticated with a fancy wine, and the next, you're curled up on the couch with a box of pizza, whispering sweet nothings like, "You complete me.
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The most romantic gesture one can make is ordering your partner's favorite food without them knowing. Forget flowers; surprise me with a box of sushi, and I'm yours forever.
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