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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels, and that idea makes them faint!
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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough. I kept kneading fainting money!
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Did you hear about the guy who fainted at the coffee shop? Turns out he couldn't espresso his feelings!
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and fainted!
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Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, and solving them made me feel faint!
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Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired, and the idea of pedaling uphill made it faint!
Faint Praise
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My doctor told me I need more exercise. So, I decided to take up jogging. The problem is, my body misinterpreted jogging as fainting on the jog. Now, my fitness routine is essentially a series of sprints interrupted by brief moments of unconsciousness.
Faint-ervention
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My friends staged an intervention for my fainting problem. They gathered in a circle and said, We're here because we care about you and because we're tired of catching you every time you decide to take a nap standing up. I guess it's time to face the faint.
The Fainting Chronicles
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You know you're getting old when you start fainting at random places. Last week, I fainted in the spice aisle at the grocery store. The paprika was just too spicy for me, apparently. I woke up surrounded by concerned shoppers, and all I could mutter was, I think the cumin got to me.
Fainting at the Worst Time
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I recently fainted during a job interview. Yeah, talk about making a lasting impression. The interviewer asked if I had any special skills, and I replied, Well, I can turn pale and lose consciousness on command. Pretty impressive, huh?
Faint and Furious
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I fainted at a wedding once. Right in the middle of the vows. The bride and groom looked at me like, Is this part of the ceremony? I woke up to the priest saying, If anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace. I guess my unconscious body was casting its vote.
Faint-asy Football
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I tried playing fantasy football, but my team was so bad that even my computer fainted when I clicked on it. I guess my lineup was too offensive – not to my opponents, but to the concept of good sportsmanship.
Fainting, the New Superpower
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I'm convinced fainting is my body's superpower. Whenever danger approaches, I just keel over and play dead. It's like my body's saying, You handle this one, consciousness; I'm taking a nap.
Faintastic Voyage
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I fainted during a plane ride. The flight attendant woke me up with a concerned look and asked, Sir, are you okay? I replied, Yeah, just catching some in-flight dreams. Do you have any peanuts to go with my unconsciousness?
Faint-astrophe at the Gym
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I tried to impress everyone at the gym by lifting some heavy weights, but my body had other plans. Mid-lift, I felt a bit light-headed, and suddenly I was starring in my own action movie: The Faint and the Furious. Spoiler alert: it didn't end well.
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