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Why did the magician open a bakery? He wanted to 'expecto' make some dough!
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Why was the potion-making contest a disaster? Because everyone 'expecto'ed different results!
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Why did the sorcerer bring a map to Hogwarts? To 'expecto' find his way around!
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Why don't wizards play hide and seek with muggles? They're too good at 'expecto' finding them!
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Why was the wizard terrible at sports? Because he always 'expecto'ed the ball to fly on its own!
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Why did the wizard bring a broom to the party? To 'expecto' sweep everyone off their feet!
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Why do wizards never go hungry? Because they can always 'expecto' leftovers!
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Why did the wizard break up with his wand? It wasn't 'expecto'ing enough commitment!
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Why did the wizard bring a ladder to the magic show? Because he wanted to reach the high 'expecto' tions!
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What do you call a nervous wizard? An 'expecto-tremendous' spell caster!
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I tried yelling 'Expecto' at my bank account, hoping for a sudden influx of Galleons. All I got was a notice about insufficient funds. Turns out, Muggles have a different kind of magic called 'Direct Debitus'.
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Expecto? I use that spell every time I order fast food. Expecto Fries-ius! But what I get is more like Expecto Wait-for-us, as if they're casting the 'Slow-mo McDelivery' charm.
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I yelled 'Expecto' at my gym equipment, expecting them to lift themselves. Now, instead of being fit, I'm just the weirdo who talks to dumbbells. On the bright side, they're excellent listeners.
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I shouted 'Expecto' in a horror movie, thinking it would magically turn the scary scenes into kittens and rainbows. All it did was make the other people in the theater expect me to leave. Apparently, moviegoers don't appreciate a wizard's touch.
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I shouted 'Expecto' at the mirror, hoping for a magical glow-up. Now I'm just standing here, looking like a wizard who got stuck in the 80s. Turns out, the only magic that happened was my hair defying gravity.
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Expecto? I tried it in the DMV, hoping it would speed up the line. Turns out, magical thinking doesn't work on government bureaucracy. The only thing disappearing was my patience.
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Expecto What? My Hogwarts letter to arrive by owl? Last time I checked, my mail was delivered by a guy in a truck who can't even find my doorstep!
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I used 'Expecto' on my laundry, hoping the dirty clothes would vanish. Instead, they multiplied like rabbits. I think my laundry has developed its own form of magical resistance. Expelliarmus doesn't work either.
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Expecto? Yeah, I expect a lot of things. Like, I expect my Wi-Fi to work, I expect my coffee to be hot, and I expect my pet goldfish to remember my name. Spoiler alert: none of these expectations are met.
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