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The Time-Traveling Ex
Dealing with an ex who lives in the past and constantly brings up nostalgic moments.
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My ex-wife loves to time-travel to our wedding day. I told her it's unhealthy to live in the past, but she insists on reliving it. I guess she missed the part of the vows that said, 'Till death do us part, or until you get a flux capacitor.'
The Translator Ex
Dealing with an ex who never quite understood your communication style, leading to hilarious misunderstandings.
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I once told my ex-wife, 'We're on different wavelengths.' She took it literally and signed us up for a couples' therapy session in a room filled with tuning forks. Turns out, our frequencies were way off.
The Detective Ex
Dealing with an ex who becomes a detective, trying to figure out every detail of your post-divorce life.
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My ex-wife is like a detective with a subscription to 'Gourmet Crimes.' She can turn a picture of a steak into a full-blown interrogation about my dating life. 'Who's the mystery date, and why didn't you invite me to the crime scene?'
The Social Media Stalker Ex
Dealing with an ex who is overly invested in your social media, making every post a potential battleground.
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My ex-wife follows me on every social media platform. It's like having a GPS tracker on my happiness. If I post a smiling picture, she comments, 'Looks like someone is enjoying life.' Well, yeah, Karen, that's kinda the idea.
The Clueless Ex
Dealing with a clueless ex who never quite understands what went wrong.
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Trying to have a conversation with my ex-wife is like playing charades in a foreign language. I'm waving my arms, making gestures, and she's still guessing 'penguin' when I'm clearly signaling 'freedom.'
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