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What do you call a snail that can play the piano? Beethoven's Slime-phony!
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What did the snail say as it slipped down the wall? 'I'm feeling a little un-sticky today!
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Why did the escargot throw a party? Because it wanted to have a snail-biting time!
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What's an escargot's favorite type of movie? Anything with a good 'trail'-er!
Escargot's Love Life
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I heard the snail was having relationship issues. Yeah, his girlfriend complained that he moves too slowly. He tried to explain, Honey, I'm just savoring the moments of us together, but she left before he could finish the sentence.
Escargot's Fast Food
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I suggested to the snail, Why don't you try fast food for once? He said, Sure, and disappeared for three months. When he came back, he said, I tried the drive-thru, but by the time I reached the window, they had already built a new restaurant.
Escargot's GPS
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You know, snails have their own version of GPS. It's called the Escargot Positioning System. But honestly, it's not very efficient. It keeps saying, In 10 years, turn left, and by the time you get there, it's like, Just kidding, this is your destination now.
Escargot's High-Speed Chase
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I saw a snail leading the police on a high-speed chase. It lasted three days, and they finally caught him because he got stuck in traffic. I guess he underestimated the acceleration of a squad car.
Escargot's Autobiography
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I picked up Escargot's autobiography. The title? Taking Life One Inch at a Time. The foreword was just a slow clap, and the first chapter was blank because, you know, it takes a while to get to the point.
Escargot's Workout Plan
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I tried following the Escargot's workout plan once. It's basically a series of exercises where you stretch your patience, do some slow-motion lunges, and finish off with a marathon nap. It's the only fitness routine where you burn negative calories because you lose enthusiasm halfway through.
Escargot Olympics
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You ever hear about the Escargot Olympics? Yeah, it's the only event where the athletes are moving slower than the audience trying to understand why someone organized a snail race. I mean, even the sloth in the corner is shouting, Hurry up!
Escargot's Self-Defense Class
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I heard the snail joined a self-defense class. The instructor told him, If you're ever in danger, retreat into your shell. He said, That's my default mode, buddy. I'm trying to learn something new here!
Escargot in a Racecar
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I once saw a snail driving a racecar. Yeah, it was a real speed demon – going a blistering 0.5 miles per hour. I asked him if he was in a rush, and he said, Well, there's a lettuce at the finish line, and I'm hungry. What do you expect?
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