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Why did Emperor Palpatine open a zoo? He wanted to have a collection of the galaxy's most shocking creatures!
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Why did Emperor Palpatine become a gardener? He wanted to cultivate the dark side of the Force!
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Why did Emperor Palpatine start a cooking show? He wanted to master the art of the dark sauce!
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Why did Emperor Palpatine start a bakery? He wanted to make the galaxy's best Sith-rolls!
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Why did Emperor Palpatine become a teacher? He wanted to share his shocking knowledge!
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Why did Emperor Palpatine start a fashion line? He wanted to bring back the dark side's chic look!
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Why did Emperor Palpatine become a barber? He wanted to give haircuts that left you electrified!
Emperor Palpatine's Dating Advice
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You know, I asked Emperor Palpatine for dating advice, and he said, The key to a successful relationship is unlimited power. Works like a charm, unless your significant other is a Jedi.
Emperor Palpatine's Fitness Program
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Emperor Palpatine started a fitness program. The first exercise? The Imperial March. It's great for cardio, but the heavy breathing may make you sound a bit Vader-esque. Breathe, and may the gains be with you!
Emperor Palpatine's Standup Comedy
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I saw Emperor Palpatine doing standup. His opening line? Why did the Sith cross the road? To take over the galaxy, of course! Ba dum tss, or should I say, Sith tss.
Emperor Palpatine's Standup Comedy Part 2
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Emperor Palpatine attempted standup again. He said, Why did Anakin Skywalker go to therapy? Because he had too many issues with his father. And by 'father,' I mean me! Talk about family drama.
Emperor Palpatine's Yoga Class
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Emperor Palpatine started a yoga class, and let me tell you, it's intense. The only pose is called the Forceful Twist, where you try to balance your life while maintaining absolute control over the galaxy.
Emperor Palpatine's Cooking Show
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I caught Emperor Palpatine hosting a cooking show. His secret ingredient? Dark side spices. Just be careful with the Sith-salsa; it's a little on the spicy side!
Emperor Palpatine's DIY Tips
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Emperor Palpatine released a DIY tutorial. Step one: Build your own Death Star. Step two: Ensure there's a convenient exhaust port for rebels. And step three: Cross your fingers and hope for the best. What could go wrong?
Emperor Palpatine's Shopping Spree
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Emperor Palpatine went on a shopping spree, and he insisted on paying with Galactic Credits. The cashier was like, Sorry, sir, we only accept Republic credits here. He wasn't pleased. Turns out, not everything can be solved with a good Force choke.
Emperor Palpatine's Karaoke Night
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Emperor Palpatine loves karaoke. His go-to song? I Will Survive. But trust me, when he sings it, it's more like I Will Revive because, you know, the dark side has ways of cheating death.
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