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Have you ever noticed how "elicit" sounds like it's up to no good? I mean, you never hear someone saying, "I just elicit happiness wherever I go." No, it's always, "I accidentally elicited the wrath of my mother-in-law." I can't be the only one who thinks "elicit" should come with a warning label. I tried using it in a job interview once. The interviewer asked, "How do you handle stressful situations?" I confidently replied, "I elicit calmness in the face of adversity." They just stared at me like, "Are you sure you didn't mean you elicit chaos?
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You know what's hard to elicit? Willpower. I mean, I'm trying to eat healthier, but chocolate just has this magical power to elicit cravings. It's like, "I'm going to have one piece." Next thing you know, I've elicited a family-sized chocolate coma. I tried to resist once. I told myself, "I will not elicit temptation from that chocolate bar." But chocolate has a way of just staring at you, silently whispering, "Elicit the joy, my friend. Elicit the joy.
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So, I'm single, and my friends keep giving me dating advice. One friend told me, "You need to elicit more interest on your dates." I'm like, "I can barely elicit interest in my own life! How am I supposed to do it on a date?" I tried though. I took someone out, and I thought, "Tonight, I'm going to elicit some romance." So, I lit some candles, played soft music, and then accidentally set off the smoke alarm. Turns out, nothing elicits romance like the blaring sound of a smoke detector.
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Hey, everyone! So, my ghostwriter gave me this fancy word - "elicit." I had to Google it. Apparently, it means to draw out or evoke. Now, I'm thinking, why can't we just stick with good old words like "get" or "ask"? I mean, who wakes up in the morning and thinks, "Today, I'm going to elicit some enthusiasm from my cat"? You know, you can't just drop "elicit" into any conversation. I tried it at the coffee shop this morning. I was like, "Can you elicit a smile with that cappuccino, please?" The barista just stared at me like I'd asked for a unicorn sprinkled with stardust.
I'm worried that if I keep using this word, people are going to think I'm secretly a Shakespearean actor undercover at Starbucks, trying to elicit a free muffin.
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