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Trying to teach my grandparents how to use the internet is an adventure. They look at me like I'm trying to elicit some ancient forbidden knowledge. "No, Grandma, it's just Google. Not a mystical portal to the secrets of the universe.
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Have you ever noticed how your phone seems to elicit the most embarrassing autocorrects precisely when you're texting your boss or your crush? It's like predictive text is on a mission to make your life as awkward as possible.
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Ever notice how social media has this magical ability to elicit strong opinions about the most trivial things? I posted a picture of my sandwich once, and suddenly everyone was a food critic. "Is that artisanal mayo? The world needs to know!
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Dating is tough, isn't it? I tried using the word "elicit" on a date once, thinking it would make me sound more intelligent. My date just stared at me like I'd accidentally summoned a thesaurus instead of making casual conversation.
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You know you're an adult when the highlight of your week is figuring out how to elicit a discount at the grocery store. Forget winning the lottery; I just saved 50 cents on my cereal. I'm practically a financial genius.
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I tried using "elicit" in a conversation the other day to sound sophisticated. But let me tell you, nothing kills the mood faster than trying to elicit a laugh and getting blank stares in return. Maybe I'll stick to dad jokes.
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And finally, let's talk about coffee shops. They've mastered the art of elicit caffeine addiction. You walk in for a simple cup of coffee, and suddenly you're contemplating the subtle notes of a rare Ethiopian bean. I just wanted a wake-up call, not a philosophy class, thank you!
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Speaking of elicit, why is it that every crime show on TV makes you feel like you're part of a special investigation? I tried watching one the other day, and suddenly I'm in my living room, whispering to my dog, "We need to elicit information from the neighbors, Buddy. This is our case now.
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You ever go to a party and someone brings up a topic that's just so elicit? It's like, "Hey, let's elicit some excitement here!" Can we just stick to small talk about the weather or our weird neighbors?
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You ever notice how teachers always seem to elicit the most creative excuses from students who haven't done their homework? It's like a masterclass in improvisation. "Oh, you see, my dog not only ate my homework but also wrote a strongly-worded letter to the principal about the educational system.
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