20 Jokes For Dumb Cop

Puns

Updated on: Jul 25 2025

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Why did the dumb cop bring a leash to the crime scene? He thought the evidence was 'off the leash'!
What did the dumb cop do at the bakery? He tried to arrest the loaf for 'yeast'ing suspicion!
How did the dumb cop try to catch a fish? He tried to bait it with a 'reel'ly bad pun!
Why did the dumb cop wear a belt with batteries? He heard he might need to 'recharge' the suspect!
Why did the dumb cop try to arrest the ghost? Because he heard it had been haunting the streets!
How did the dumb cop try to catch a squirrel? He tried to book it for 'nuts and bolts' theft!
Why did the dumb cop bring a net to the office? He wanted to catch the 'web' of lies!
Why did the dumb cop go to the hardware store during his shift? He wanted to nail the suspect!
How did the dumb cop try to catch a runaway horse? He tried to 'rein' it in with handcuffs!
Why did the dumb cop go to the bank with a ladder? He wanted to check the 'high-interest' rates!

The Dumb Cop Chronicles

You ever meet those cops who make you question if they accidentally joined the police force while looking for the donut shop? I got pulled over the other day, and the cop asked me if I knew why he stopped me. I said, Because my tail light's out? He said, No, because I was bored, and you looked like you could use some company.

The Silent Interrogator

I got pulled over by a cop who must have taken a vow of silence. He just stood there, staring at me. I finally asked, Aren't you going to say anything? He pointed to his notepad that read, I'm on a word diet. Trying to cut back on verbal calories.

CSI: Kinda Slow Investigator

I encountered a cop last week who was clearly not winning any awards for detective work. I reported a stolen bike, and he asked for a description. I said, It's a bicycle. He nodded and said, Got it, a two-wheeled getaway vehicle. Yeah, Sherlock, that narrows it down.

The Crime Whisperer

I encountered a cop who claimed to have a sixth sense for crime. He looked at me and said, I sense you've jaywalked before. I said, Is it the way I cross the street or the guilty look on my face? He whispered, Both.

Cop GPS

I think I encountered a cop who relies on GPS a bit too much. He pulled me over and said, You took three wrong turns back there. I said, How do you know? He replied, My GPS told me I was chasing a suspect, and it kept recalculating.

High-Speed Snail Chase

I had a cop chase me down the other day, and it felt like being pursued by the world's slowest snail. I pulled over, and he asked, Do you know how fast you were going? I said, At the speed of patience, officer.

Police Academy Reject

I met this cop the other day who was probably rejected from Police Academy more times than I've been rejected on dating apps. He pulled me over and asked for my license. I handed him my Costco card by mistake. He looked at it and said, Sir, this is not a valid form of ID. I said, Well, it gets me some great deals on bulk toilet paper!

Undercover Genius

I think I found the cop who failed undercover school. He tried to blend in at a skate park, but he was wearing a suit and tie. The skaters thought he was an undercover dad trying to impress his rebellious teen. He kept saying, Yeah, I love me some kickflips, fellow youngsters!

The Speed Reader

I got stopped by a cop who claimed to be a speed reader. He looked at my license and said, You were going 65 in a 60 zone. I asked, How did you calculate that so fast? He replied, Well, the numbers were in order.

Traffic Light Confusion

I met a cop who seemed to have a deep philosophical relationship with traffic lights. He pulled me over and said, You ran a red light. I argued, It was yellow! He pondered for a moment and said, Ah, the existential struggle of colors.

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