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The Paranoid Homeowner
When you're convinced your door is plotting against you.
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I once caught my door having a conversation with the neighbor's gate. I don't know what they're plotting, but I've started locking my fridge just in case.
The Ghostly Door
When your door is convinced it's haunted.
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My door claimed it saw a ghost. I said, "Really? What did it look like?" The door replied, "Well, transparent, like me when I'm not holding up to your expectations.
The Door Salesman
When your job is to sell doors, but everyone already has one.
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The other day, someone told me, "I already have a front door." I said, "Sure, but does your front door have a cool backstory? Is it weather-resistant and emotionally available? No? Well, meet the door of your dreams!
The Lost Key
When your key has commitment issues and keeps disappearing.
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My key ran away with the spare. Now I have to use the window like a common burglar. I guess my keys are into open relationships.
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