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You ever notice how Disney movies have some questionable parenting moments? I mean, Ariel's dad in "The Little Mermaid" goes on a rampage, destroying his daughter's treasures just because she wanted to explore the human world. Talk about overreacting. If my dad did that every time I wanted to try something new, my room would be emptier than a Disney princess singing about her dreams. And what's the deal with sending kids into the woods? I mean, "Snow White" gets sent to the woods to be killed by a huntsman, and "Hansel and Gretel" are just chilling in the forest waiting to be eaten by a witch. Maybe Disney is sponsored by the National Park Service, encouraging kids to go on outdoor adventures.
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You know, I was watching a Disney movie the other day, trying to relive my childhood and all that. But can we talk about the unrealistic expectations Disney gives us? I mean, in real life, if animals started helping me clean my house, I'd be more concerned about critter infestations than finding my Prince Charming. And don't get me started on the love stories. Cinderella meets a guy once, loses a shoe, and they live happily ever after. In real life, if you lose a shoe at a party, you're more likely to get a lecture from your mom about irresponsibility than a fairy godmother intervention.
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Let's talk about Disney villains. They've got issues, serious issues. I imagine there's a support group for them - Villains Anonymous. Can you imagine Ursula from "The Little Mermaid" sitting there saying, "Hi, I'm Ursula, and I just wanted Ariel's voice. It's not like I wanted world domination or anything." And Maleficent from "Sleeping Beauty," she's just mad because she didn't get invited to a party. Talk about holding a grudge. If I didn't get invited to a party, I'd just order pizza and watch Netflix, not put a curse on a newborn.
Disney villains need therapy more than they need a hero to defeat them. Maybe there's a whole new Disney+ series idea right there - "Villains Therapy Hour.
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Let's talk about the sidekicks in Disney movies. I mean, poor guys, right? They're always the unsung heroes. Imagine being the sidekick, doing all the work, and what do you get? Maybe a pat on the back and a "thanks for your service." I bet Timon and Pumbaa are sitting somewhere in the jungle thinking, "We saved Simba's life, and what do we get? Hakuna Matata, my foot!" And don't even get me started on Olaf from Frozen. He's a snowman with dreams of summer. Buddy, you're literally made of snow. Summer is not your friend; it's your mortal enemy.
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